Deut 20:10-12
When you draw near to a city to fight against it, offer terms of peace to it. And if its answer to you is peace and it opens to you, then all the people who are found in it shall do forced labor for you and shall serve you. But it it makes no peace with you but makes war against you, you shall besiege it.
Context: God is giving the Israelites laws concerning their warfare as the go to take possession of the Promised land.
In my own life this is a guideline that I could easily use in my conflicts. Especially towards my children, when there is a conflict I tend to assume the worst and come out with guns blazing. Most often I am wrong. When that happens I find myself hurting feelings unnecessarily, then I have to apologize and back pedal and I lose credibility with them. So as I "draw near to a city to fight against it." I need to do two things:
- Make sure the other party is actually in the wrong - an important step that I too often skip.
- If they are in the wrong, I still need to approach in peace.
Think first, talk second, act last.
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